The Ashes: English captain Ben Stokes whinges after wet weather washes his Ashes hopes away

Sneaky, boring, smirking, embarrassing, scaredy-cat Aussies - fair to say England didn’t take the dashing of their Ashes dreams at all well.

Instead of blaming their own dismal weather, pundits and supporters instead vented their frustration on Pat Cummins and his team after a rained out draw in the Third Test in Manchester.

That ensured Australia, up 2-1 with one Test to go, would do no worse than finish 2-2 in the series and, as holders, retain the little urn that signifiies cricketing supremacy between the sport’s oldest rivals.

But England found it hard to swallow given that Ben Stokes’ team had the Aussies on the ropes for most of the Test after flaying them with Bazball.

“That’s so urnfair”, was the front-page headline in The Sun, while the back page said: “Stinging in the rain”.

The Star claimed: “You may have fluked Ashes, Pat, but we still rain over you!”

The Independent’s back page read: “Ashes go down the drain”.

Under the headline Sham-pagne moment, Sun reporter Dave Kidd wrote: “Congratulations to the sneaky, lucky, boring Aussies for the most inglorious triumph in sporting history.”

Aussie baiter-hater Piers Morgan tweeted: “FFS. Has there ever been a less-deserved retention of the Ashes? From the Bairstow debacle to this rain-soaked fiasco, it’s an absolute farce that smirking Australia have ended up with the urn still in their hands. England comfortably the better side as this Test showed. Gutting.”

When Cummins conceded that it felt “a bit weird” retaining the Ashes with a one-sided draw, Morgan chimed in again: “No sh*t, Sherlock. I’d be too embarrassed to even speak to the media if I retained the Ashes in such a dismal way.”

Former England skipper, Michael Vaughan, wrote in the UK Telegraph: “Australia were timid, scared and petrified of this England team all week in Manchester and played for rain. Australia were rattled: I can’t remember saying that before. They will know that only rain saved them. It ranks as one of the luckiest escapes I can remember.”

Another former England captain Michael Atherton wrote in The Times: “Rarely have Australia been so outplayed as they were over the first three days of this game, and England’s brilliant and bold cricket deserved a more just outcome. Not since Ian Botham at his peak in the 1980s has an Australian team looked as rattled as they did in the field here.”

Other English commentators called for the rules to be changed.

Former player David Lloyd wrote in the Daily Mail: “If we lose a full day’s play or have less than 30 overs in a day, we should have a reserve day.”

Oliver Brown, in The Telegraph, slammed administrators for not starting play earlier and finishing later before the forecast rain arrived.

But amidst all the fury and indignation, nowhere in England did it seem to be mentioned that in 2013 it was England who benefited from a rained out test in Manchester with Australia well on top in the game -- a draw that, like this one, ensured the hosts, who at the time were the holders, would retain the Ashes.